Friday, December 31, 2010

2010... another year of blessings!

Ever since I met my husband in 2007... every year has been "the best year ever!".... 
I met my husband in 2007 and immediately fell head over heels in love with each other... best year ever.
In 2008, My husband and I moved into our first apartment together, and got engaged... best year ever.
In 2009, We planned our wedding, got married, and went on an awesome honeymoon.... best year ever.
In 2010, I peed on a little stick that flashed the word "pregnant", and we have spent all year getting our lives in order for this little miracle... best year ever.
I cant speak for 2011, because it doesn't start until tomorrow... but, in only 7 weeks (or less), our lives will forever change when we finally meet our son. Surely, 2011 will truly be "The best year ever!".

Besides getting pregnant in 2010... this year has been a year of growing... Some of this growth has hurt, really bad. But, as I always say... everything happens for a reason.

As a wife, I have grown to be more patient. We have gotten over the "first year hurdles".. and I have strived to be there in every single way possible for  my husband. I have been his biggest cheerleader and encourager. This has been a tough year for Ryan... We went from 2 healthy incomes, and after months of toying with the idea, went down to only 1. Months later, we find out I'm pregnant, and after the joy and excitement.. came the money woes. But, he handled it amazing... when he wasn't in the office, he was working a side job. He used his vacation time to work endless hours in Kentucky away from his home, his wife, his family.... Proving to be the ultimate provider. I am proud to say, that thanks to my amazing husband, we not only made ends meet this year... but we are virtually DEBT FREE. Something that is almost unheard of these days. The amount of love and pride I have for Ryan can not be measured. I still find myself in awe that God thought I was worthy of such an amazing man!

In 2010, my spirit has been questioned. My motives have been questioned. My intentions have been questioned. My honestly has been questioned. All of this questioning, took a toll on me personally. I found myself upset, and frustrated because I was being ridiculed by people who I thought were my family and friends. Lies upon lies were being said from the mouths of people who I, at one time, trusted. I told these people secrets, I cried on their shoulders, I allowed them to be an important part of my life. For what? For a mistake to be made into a lie, and another lie, and another lie.. and the talking became too much, and as it all came back to me... it was nothing more then a twisted web of lies.. and people believing every ounce of everything accept for anything I had to say... or not having enough sense to truly take a step back and see the whole picture. Friendships have been ruined. Trust is gone, and can not be earned back. My husband and I sat around thinking long and hard about why this was happening to us. We are both people who 100% of the time, put others before ourselves.. and here we are, bewildered. It took a little bit of time to pick myself up, dust myself off, and clearly see the whole picture. Ryan and I's spirit is still healing, but God has made his intentions clear.  Our life needed "weeding". We needed the negative and fake removed from our life, so we can truly enjoy the blessings we have before us. We can focus on our friends and family who have never questioned our intentions, who have always been a phone call away, and who have been with us through this "weeding" process. Its been painful, excruciating at times... but we have made it! And we can honestly look back, and know that we have always remained honest and truthful to ourselves and others. We have always given more then we have received. And we are now thankful that this "weeding" process is over and our lives are filled with individuals that we KNOW we can turn to and count on at the end of the day. I am so thankful for this. God has a funny way of doing things sometimes, but in the end.. it all makes sense. And I am so grateful to be able to start 2011 with a clear mind, full heart, and REAL friends and family.

2011 WILL be "the best year ever"! How could it not be? My life is filled with countless blessings, my belly is filled with a healthy baby boy who is almost ready to fill my arms, and he has already filled my heart. I'm married to the most amazing man on earth, My family is unbelievable, and I have TRUE friends. What more could anyone ever want?

Thursday, December 23, 2010


This Christmas...
I couldn't think of anything I wanted.

Not one. Seriously.

It seemed ridiculous to "want" anything. No matter who asked (mom, brother, in laws, my husband x3802389 times)... I had the same answer..."I dunno".

Its hard to "want" anything, when you "have" everything.

I have a healthy little boy in my belly who is growing  by leaps and bounds everyday, I have a husband who I adore and love more then life itself, I have brothers who've always got my back, My parents who are the absolute most amazing people I know, fabulous in laws by the handfuls, and girlfriends who I can count on no matter what...

It seemed silly to "want" anything else, when clearly, my life has been blessed beyond any sort of measure.

So, What did I ask for?

 Maternity Yoga Pants.
Its the only thing I could come up with.

And because of that, I am the happiest girl on the planet.

Merry Christmas. May you get everything you "want", and have everything you "need"....


Wednesday, December 22, 2010


Ya know how every time you see a pregnant girl on TV or in a movie, shes always running to the bathroom? Shes either throwing up or peeing? I'm one of those skeptics that saw this, and seriously thought that that was none other then another dramatization on the big screen....


I was lucky enough not to face the whole morning sickness thing.. But my bladder... has turned against me. Why am I sharing this? Because every woman who has been pregnant can relate with me, and any woman who hasn't been pregnant yet, but will one day be pregnant.... should know.

Ive always been a public restroom snob. Meaning, I just don't use them. Its gross. Back in my non pregnant, bar hopping days... I was able to go out all night and MAYBE use a public restroom once. MAYBE. And here I am.... 8 months pregnant... and public restrooms are my friend. I have scouted out the best and the worst. I know which restrooms are sometimes out of paper towels or toilet paper.. and I have my favorite stalls. Am I pregnant or 97 years old? I cant seem to tell the difference right now....

Its not only in the movies... its real. My daily routine? Wake up, Pee, Brush teeth, wash face, eat a bowl of cereal, pee, get dressed, struggle to tie shoes, pee, leave house, arrive at destination, pee, pay for things at store, pee, drive to next destination... pee. I cant tell you how many times my husband and I have been running on time (not many..) , and as we're walking out the door... I look at him and say "I have to pee". I dread saying that. At first he would look at me, and say something like "Come on babe! Seriously? You cant hold it? We're walking out the door!"...  but he knows better now. "ok, hurry!" Such pressure!

I haven't slept through the night in 6 months. At the beginning, I was "irritated" by having to wake up once during the night... I would love to go back to one of those days... Pee before bed.. then its 12:30am, 3am, 530am, 7am and then its another mad dash when I decide to roll out of bed for good around 9.

I talked to my doctor about this. I swore something was wrong with me.. but no. Doctor asked, "Does it burn?" I answered.. "What? No...." Doctor responded.." Ok, then youre fine. Just pregnant". Nice.

I don't even want to go into what happens when I laugh really hard or sneeze.... That just more information then you need to know. Or maybe you already know.. and if you do, I can promise you are totally sympathizing with me...

On that note, that's all I have for today. Its a good thing this sweet baby boy is worth it =)

I have to pee....

Monday, December 6, 2010

29 weeks

I told myself I would do this every 4 weeks... I also told myself I would write down every single thing that I did and experianced through my pregnancy.. and I didnt. I know, I know... I will totally regret this one day. But, for now... Ill wait for that day, and not worry about that day, today.

Last time I did one of these, I was 16 weeks pregnant. That feels like another life time ago... I am now 29 weeks, and I feel like Im a pro at being pregnant by now. 11 weeks or less until my beautiful baby boy is in my life... I cant wait!

Total Weight Gain:

Ugh. 17.
Maternity Clothes:

Ive ever grown out of some of those already!

Stretch Marks:

Yes, yes yes. I think I hate this question.


Tiredness is back. Can barely sleep more then 2 hours at a time at night.... always waking super early. and desperate for a nap by 4pm.

Best moment of the month:

My baby shower, and seeing baby boy during a 3D sonogram =)



Food Cravings:

None. Just food in general.
Food Aversions:


Belly button:

Its flat. LIke really flat. But not sticking out....
What I miss:
What Im looking forward to:
Having this baby!
Weekly Wisdom:
Let others do stuff for me. Because my back hates me.
Everything. Being well into my 3rd trimester. Knowing that if little one was born today, he would be healthy.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

My poor aching, loving, worrying head.....

Here we are.... 95 days until we have our baby boy in our arms.

Holy Cow.

Cow. That's kinda how I feel there days. Cow-ish. Large and larger. But sometimes, I worry myself. Sometimes, I just don't feel pregnant. Its the strangest thing. You would think that at 26weeks and 3 days pregnant, I would ALWAYS feel preggers... but, sometimes.. I just don't. I'm not sure if that's normal... I find myself wondering if lots of things are normal. I worry myself sick, and it pisses off my husband. He keeps saying he KNOWS everything is just fine, but I guess its my extreme fear, that maybe Ive done something wrong? This little tiny being does not stand a chance in this world without his mama. I am his life source. I eat and he eats. I breathe, he breathes. And the thought that something may not be perfect, scares the living hell out of me.

Its amazing how much I love Brayden. My entire life circles around him. Ever since I saw the word pregnant on my pee stick (all 3 of them) he has consumed every single thought. Is he hungry? Did I eat? Did I take my prenatals? Is he kicking enough... what if I don't feel him all day? When I'm stressed is he stressed? I just want so badly to provide my sweet baby boy with the best life ever.... and that starts right now. While he is in the womb, living off of ME. What a huge responsibility.

I worry myself to the point that I'M sick of hearing myself. I'm sick of my own what ifs. I want to take my brain out and put it on a shelf, and remind myself that this is supposed to be enjoyable.

Is that possible? Is it possible to not worry for the rest of my life?

Is it possible to love this little person so much, and hope for only the best, all the while knowing that your every single decision affects every part of his little delicate life? Talk about NOT worrying. Ya... right.

Dear Brayden,
Mama loves you so much, that she cant even think clearly anymore. I'm becoming a nut case. I hope you love me as much as I love you.


Monday, October 25, 2010

Apple Rolo Galette

Im back to food blogging! I dont know for how long, but for now... Im back!

I took a food-blogging-vacay because this pregnancy has turned me into a very lazy baker/cook. If you cant buy it through a window, or it requires turning on more then the microwave... it hasnt been for me. Even when I TRY to cook for my poor husband who is so tired of pizza... it usually doesnt come out very good. Mainly because my heart isnt into it.. and I would much rather be eating a Mcdouble and a large fry.

But, my overwhelming craving for all things Fall and Apple-y has me back!
And with a bang!!!!

I wasnt sure what this thing I made was called... so, with a little googling... it has a name.
Its called a Galette. Galette basically means a free formed pie. No pie pan, just the crust.

Apple Rolo Galette

Cast of Characters:
2 diced apples (I like honeycrisp), Pie crust, Butter, Rolos, cinnamon, and light brown sugar.

Unwrap and cut Rolos in half. Of dont unwrap them, if tiny peices of gold foil is your thing....

Melt 2 Tablespoons of butter in a sauce pan.

Add diced apples, 3 tablespoons of light brown sugar, and 1 teaspoon of cinnamon.
Cook for a few minutes until the sugar is bubbly, the apples are coated  nicely and your kitchen smells like heaven.

Spoon apples into the center of laid out pie crust.
Note: Next time I do this, Ill bake it on wax paper for an easier removal process.

Top with Rolos...
Oh. My. Goodness.

And start to fold over the dough, like this.....

Pinch dough... and bring it up towards the mixture...

Then press is down slightly so it sticks to the other folded dough....

Keep going until you have this.... A Galette.

... And Voila! Done! Baked for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.
And its devine. Scrumptious. Out of this world. YUM.

Should be paired with a tall glass of 2% milk or a chilled bottle of water.

Fall Fab!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Bloody nose and chocolate anyone?

Well.... here I am, exactly 23 weeks and 0 days pregnant. And I have tissue stuffed up my nose. Why you ask?
Well... lets see. I was getting ready to go to work at my every-other-weekend gig at the Bucs stadium.... washed my face, turned on my hair iron.... looked down at the sink... to see BLOOD. Lots of it. Glance at my face to find more blood. Pouring from my nose. Nice.
This pregnancy has been a breeze. No nothing. Everything has been decently decent. Until THIS. An hour later, Im not at work.. I have blood all over my shirt... and I still have tissue stuffed up my nose, because everytime I go to remove it... the faucet turns back on... and blood goes everywhere. Just another way for God to get me ready for the unexpected when baby boy gets here. JOYS.

Aside from the nose bleeds, sleep is starting to not be so restful. My back aches, and I ache for the days that I can again sleep on my stomach and back. Once a sound sleeper, I now wake up every time I need to move even slightly... and lets not begin to talk about how many times I have to pee in the middle of the night... 12am, 3am, 545am, 645am, 9am...All of this together, and Im waking up about every 45 minutes to an hour. Sometimes more, and sometimes when Im REALLY tired... I wont wake up, because I just dont move.. but then I wake up with a numb butt and tingling thigh. More JOY.

Baby boy is positioned right on my inner stomach. So, eating more then few bites  here and there starts to become challenging. I am the queen at doggy bags, and am now just as happy with a bowl of Golden Grahams and skim milk.. as I was before over a rib eye steak and a potato. Ohhhh how I am craving snow crab legs though!

Cravings have been relative. Coke Classic. Duh. And just overwhelming desire for chocolate. I was fearing this one. I miss the days where my cravings consisted of Cobb salads, feta cheese, apple sauce, and PB&J's. I didnt have to worry much about weight gain then... But this new chocolate craze is not good for the butt. or hips. or upper arms. or face. or any other body part for that matter. Only baby boy and my taste buds are enjoying this one.

I was told on my 20 week appointment, that I have an anterior placenta. Not a huge deal.... just means that I wont feel baby boy nearly as much as others are feeling their little ones right now... He kicks me nice and hard, every so often.... Just enough to keep me from worrying, and to let me know that hes just fine. He loves food. After a (small) meal... he goes to town, kicking and kicking. A few times its been hard enough, that I can swear that Daddy will be able to feel it on the outside.. and as soon as I place my hand on my belly... he stops. Such a trickster.

Bending over and getting off the floor isnt HARD, per say. Just not very pretty. I kinda have this routine, that I go from my butt to my knees, and then rock myself in a way that I spring off the floor, dust myself off, and go about my business. Not something I would do in public or in front of anyone but my husband, but it makes me laugh a little. Bending over isnt comfy for me or Brayden. He kicks me to let me know, "HEY! MOM! Knock it off! Im sleeping here! And your making me hit my head with my knee!" Sorry little man, Im almost to the point that I will be making daddy do all the bending, reaching, stretching, and shoe tying.

I forgot to update my blog at my 20 week point. Baby boy is as perfect as perfect can be. Completely handsome and adorable, and I turn to mush every time I see his sweet little self on the sono screen. I have gained 3 lbs so far (This was before my chocolate crave), and dr has asked me to gain 3-5 lbs this month, or else. My boobs are the size of my head. I have stretch mark heaven on my belly (And nothing works... trust me. tried it all). My skin is still pretending Im 14. But my hair and nails are to die for. I have a cute little soccer ball in my belly, and life before maternity jeans no longer exists.

Can I just take a second to thank Motherhood Maternity and Heidi Klum? For designing and making available cute maternity jeans? Because my new bootcuts are adorb. And I get compliments on them all the time. Im not a huge fan of the prego shirts..... still buying a size larger in normal clothes.... but, these jeans are killer.

In other none baby related news, Its "fall" in Florida. 80 degrees and breezy all day. Guess its time to act the part and whip up some banana bread and apple pie. I would give up chocolate for the temp to go down 10 degrees. Ok, never mind. 80s and chocolate all day everyday. Im not letting go of my chocolate. At least, not yet...

Perhaps I will finally do a food blog this week? Maybe Ill blog my apple pie? Or maybe Ill just blog my face covered in chocolate? Stay tuned.

Monday, October 18, 2010

22 days

22 weeks down....

LESS than 18 more to go. I say LESS, because Im hoping for a 38 week baby, and NOT a huge 40 week baby... Either way, as long as he is healthy...

We have picked a name that we are totally wild about. Brayden Ryan. Im not sure where Brayden came from, because I had never heard it before, and one night as hubby and I were drifting into dream land, it popped into my head and it just felt so right.

Tomorrow will be one week since Hubby has been home from his horrible 22 day trip to Kentucky to work the World Equestrian Show. Now, call it pathetic if you would like, but 22 days was a very very long time for both of us. By the 2nd week, we were absolutely dying to see each other... I have never been so giddy in all my life, then when I sat in his truck waiting for him to pick up his luggage from baggage claim, and I got a sneak peak of him through the airport window. I'm proud to say that I did make it through those 22 days, but barely. The first night was awful. Coming home to a dark, quiet apartment all by myself. Water works started, and I had an all our crying infant fit in my kitchen. Complete with huffing noises and stomping my feet. Then I told my self I was insane, and proceeded to get into our queen size bed.... alone. For the first time ever.... And it started again, so I selfishly woke hubby up with a million texts explaining how heart broken I was, and that I wish I could roll over and hug him. That was night number 1... and the next 21 days got easier and easier. Not that I ever stopped missing my other half, but I just started to celebrate that time that had passed and how quickly his return home was approaching.  Ever since he stepped off that plane, I haven't been able to get enough of him. So in love.

My belly doubled in size while hubby was gone, and he was overjoyed and excited to see that his little boy had grown so much. I cant wait to watch Ryan and Brayden together. Brayden is such a lucky boy to have a daddy who will give him the world. Someone up there must really love me. My life has been overly blessed with blessing beyond my comprehension. I have a husband who I love and adore, and a baby boy who will be here so soon. God is an awesome God!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

16 weeks.

Total Weight Gain:

3 Pounds.
Maternity Clothes:
Bought my first maternity jeans and nursing bra last week =)

Stretch Marks:
Lets just omit this question for now on ... thanks
Feeling much more energetic. But,still more tired then before I was pregnant
Best moment of the month:
Sharing our sonogram video with out family.

Felt lots of flutters, but felt the first few REAL kicks today!

Food Cravings:
Random things at very random times.
Food Aversions:

Belly button:
Still the same.
What I miss:
What Im looking forward to:
This belly popping!
Weekly Wisdom:
Enjoy it all. Times goes by to quickly!
Having a hint at little ones gender....

Saturday, August 28, 2010

jokes on us?

Oh baby, baby, baby....

You are quite the funny one. Mama and daddy went for our sonogram this morning to see if you were a boy or girl. Our hearts were pounding with excitement, and you decided to play a little joke on us!

The lady said you wouldn't open your little legs, so she had no idea what you are. THEN, she says... "Well, it LOOKS like it MIGHT be a boy.. but we cant really tell, so you will have to come  back next week..."

That's right honey. You MIGHT be a boy, but we wont know for sure until next week More anticipation.

Mama and Daddy enjoyed seeing you stretch and yawn, rub your eyes, suck your thumb, twist and turn in my belly today. You are so perfect.

Love you little one,

The night before....

Dear Nugget,

Mama has affectionately referred to you as Nugget for the past 15 weeks. I'm not sure why, just something that sprung into my head  the day the glorious word "positive" flashed on my pee stick that told me that you would be here in 9 very long months. In 4 hours, I will retire the name "nugget" as you will have a REAL name of your very own.

Mama and daddy went to bed around 11:30pm, last night after much procrastination from Mama. "I just want be realllllllly tired so I can actually sleep". What a joke. After laying in bed from 11:30pm until 6am, I MAYBE got 2 hours of sleep, and not interrupted.. because thoughts of you flooded every single dream, and I had to keep waking myself to see what time it was, and then pray that God would make time go faster.

At 10:45am today, a lady will rub cold goop all over Mamas growing belly. Daddy will stand tall next to me, and she will hold a  special machine to my belly... as pictures of your sweet beautiful self show themselves on a TV screen. I can not wait for daddy to see you kick and squirm. He is going to be so proud to see his perfect Angel. The lady will then take a few peeks, and decide if you are a girl or a boy. And as soon as she tells us, Mama is sure to lose it. Even though Daddy is super tough, and you will probably go your whole life and MAYBE see him cry 3 times, I know he will be overwhelmed with joy. I wish we could photograph our faces so you can see you much we love you already.

The anticipation is driving me nuts. Not because it matters whether you are a boy or girl, because you will be perfect for me in every way shape and form. The anticipation is because I can finally put a name to your precious face.

Daddy and I painstakingly chose your name, after months of debating. Actually, years. Wayyy before you were in my belly, Daddy and I would have these fun conversations that would start by one of us saying... "One day, when we have a baby... what are we going to name him? What are we going to name her?" Some of them were silly, some were traditional. Mama and Daddy argued a little over some of them. He thought it was the best name ever, and I just didn't think it would be perfect enough. Or I would say a name, and Daddy would look at Mama like I had 4 eye balls.

If you are a girl, we are excited about giving you such a beautiful name. If you are a boy, we are so proud to hand you the name that you will maybe one day hand down to your son.

10:45am can not come soon enough already! Daddy is snoring away! He is very excited also, he just had a very long, hard week at work and needs his rest. But I can promise that Daddy is dreaming sweet dreams of his baby.

Will you be a rough and tough little boy who gives his Mama sloppy kisses? Or a princess who holds her Daddy's hand whenever she can? Will you love baseball and watching sports? Or will you love spending time with Mama, like I enjoy spending time with I Nana? Will you ask for bedtime stories about dragons and hero's, or princesses in far away lands? Will you clomp around the house in Mamas high heels, or drag around Daddy's favorite baseball bat? Will Daddy be your hero? Will I be your best friend?

Will you ever truly understand just how much Daddy and I love and adore you? Will you ever anticipate something as much as we anticipate you?

I pray that Daddy and I will be able to show you every single day for the rest of your life, just how much we love you. We will live our lives for the sweet baby that is growing in Mamas belly. Every single decision and choice we make, will revolve around whats best for you and our overwhelming amount of love we have for our sweet miracle.

I thank God for you everyday. He gave me you, as a beautiful gift. The greatest gift anyone could ever be given. And I plan to do whatever it takes, everyday of my life to show him how thankful I am.

Every inch of my heart,

Friday, August 20, 2010

letters to baby #2

Hello my sweet angel,

Well, here we are... a day shy of 14 weeks pregnant. Becoming more and more anxious everyday to see your face, smell your soft baby skin, and stare into your big beautiful eyes you are bound to have. Sometimes I cant believe I still have 26 weeks until I get to snuggle you in my arms, and other times I have to remind myself.. that I ONLY have 26 weeks until the most important person in my whole world will be here.

In 1 week from tomorrow, Daddy and I get to find out if youre a girl or boy (If you decide to cooperate!). We are so excited! Will we be signing you up for baseball or ballet? Will we be buying you a ball and glove or a tutu? Will you be mamas little man or daddy's little princess? Either way, we love you so much already. What you are does not matter. What matters is that God has blessed us with you and that mama and daddy are the best parents to you, so that you will be provided with every single opportunity possible on this earth. Pink or blue, either one, we will be so happy.

You are going to make mama and daddy a family. We will no longer be a married couple, but a family of 3. And when we feel that you are ready, we will be a family or 4 and maybe, if daddy gives mama her way, a family of 5. I cant wait to meet you and your siblings. I pray that you will love your life long best friends as much as I love Tio Dennis and Uncle Vince.

Everyday, I ask  myself if I am going to be good enough for you. Will I be able to lead you in the right direction? Will I be able to teach you right from wrong? Will I be able to teach you about God and all the good that there is on this earth while shielding you from the bad? But, what if I shield  you too much? I don't want you to grow up naive either. I want you to have a strong head, a kind soul, and a heart full of love and God. I hope I will be able to teach you by example.
I cant wait to buy you a book shelf, and start filling it with books. Books that you will one day pass on to your kids, who will pass them on to their kids. I will read to you every single day. Reading is so important in mama and daddy's life. We hope that you love books like we do. There is so much to learn and discover in books. You can explore the world in your very own bedroom.

I pray for you everyday. Not only for your health while you grow in my belly, but for you when you are out here in the real world. I pray that you will love life, laugh everyday, and smile every time you can. I pray that you will enjoy the sunshine, and cuddling up with mama when its raining outside. I pray that one day, decades from now, you will meet another person who will be the other half that makes you whole. I pray that you will love that person, and respect that person, and NEED that person. Just like mama and daddy love, respect, and need each other. And just like we love, respect, and need you.

Good evening my sweetheart,

Friday, August 13, 2010

Helllllllo 2nd trimester!!!

Total Weight Gain:
Still only 1.5! So proud of me!

Maternity Clothes:
Not completely. Depending on the day, I can still wear my regular jeans.

Stretch Marks:
AUGH!!!! Yes. Already. help!

Waiting for that burst of energy the world keeps telling me about.....

Best moment of the month:
Seeing my sweet precious baby kick away at my 12 week appointment.

not yet, but soon!

Food Cravings:
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Cobb salads, Sprite, apple sauce

Food Aversions:

Belly button:
Its still just fine!

What I miss:

What Im looking forward to:
looking pregnant and not like a cow.

Weekly Wisdom:
Still sticking with the let go, and let God. Life is gonna throw curve balls. Just gotta be ready for them!

Feeling my belly get round and hard! and reaching the beautiful sound of the 2nd trimester! Thank God!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Letters to baby

Dear sweet baby,

Mama has been so preoccupied with life and YOU that she has allowed her lovely blog to slide a bit. Ive decided that to keep you updated on everything that Daddy and I are going through, I will write you letters. One day, we will read these letters together and laugh and cry and I'm almost positive you will make fun of me for being such a big dork. (Moms are allowed to be dorks)

Daddy has been working so very hard to make sure that everything is perfect for when you get here. We want to make sure that when you are here in our arms, everything in our world and your little world will be as worry-free and enjoyable as possible. We were supposed to move into a new apartment last weekend, but decided that it wasn't perfect enough for you. Only the best for our sweet baby. So, for a week, we have been living at Abuelo and Nana's house. Sleeping in the same room I grew up in, and the same room you will one day have sleep overs in when Mama and Daddy need a date night. The room is full of pink, so hopefully if you're a boy, you can sleep in uncle Vincents room instead. Daddy and I with the help of some good friends will be moving into a much more perfect place this weekend. I am excited for this to be your first home.

Nana and I are already busy planning YOUR welcome party. I don't want to call it a baby shower, because my life is all about celebrating you. Daddy and my life will forever be all about you, and the wonderful blessing God has given us. You are only a tiny 2 inch baby, but you have already filled me and daddy's heart. We love you so  much, its overwhelming. Your baby celebrations will have abundant food, colorful decorations, and beautiful details. Because you have made my life abundant, colorful, and so beautiful.

My 25th birthday was 3 weeks ago. I was surrounded by friends and family all weekend, and had the best birthday ever. Mainly because you are the greatest gift I could have ever wanted. Soon, you will be able to meet all of these friends and family who all love you and are excited for you to join us. I got to blow out birthday candles 3 times! And each time, my birthday wish is for you to be a healthy baby, and that I would be the absolute best mommy possible.

I prayed the other day, that your life will be blessed with friends as great as me and daddy's. I prayed that you will have boys and girls in your life that you can depend on, and turn to when life gets a little tough. I pray that you will know which friends need to be let go, which friends are worth the fight, and which friends will become your back bone, your blood, and your family. Friends that are like family are so important. I pray that you are blessed with that in your life. Daddy and I are so blessed to be surrounded by "sisters and brothers"....

I pray that you will have an honest heart, and a strong conscious. I pray that you will find the power in being truthful, and have a strong sense of knowing the difference between whats right and wrong.

I pray for myself a lot too. I pray that I will be able to instill in you the same morals that Nana instilled in me. I want to be your mother and your best friend. I want you to tell me about you bad days, and your good days. I want to celebrate all your triumphs, and pick you up and dust you off when you've have a bad day. I want you to never go a day without knowing how passionately Daddy and I love you, and how badly we wanted you. You will never be lonely. We will be there for you, forever. You are so blessed to have such a wonderful Daddy. Daddy is so excited for your to get here. He cant wait to teach you about baseball and buy you pretty things. To go on long walks while you hold his hand, and take you fishing. We are so lucky to have daddy. I couldn't have picked a better daddy for you. I'm pretty excited he picked me to be your mommy =)

I love you, sweet baby...
Until next time,

Monday, July 12, 2010

8 weeks.

Dear readers,
Pregnancy has taken over my life, and I am sorry from the bottom of my heart for my lack of blogging. My little tiny little one has taken over my every thought... but I have not forgotten you! I think of you everyday!

I am officially 8 weeks!
Time to update the prego survey!

Total Weight Gain:
1.5 pounds. Pretty good!
Maternity Clothes:
Not yet. My jeans are becoming annoyingly snug in the tummy area... but Im thinking with the wonderful Belly Band, I should be able to make my pre-maternity jeans last until at least 12 to 15 weeks.
Stretch Marks:
Not yet!
Oh My Gosh. So tired. Exhausted. WIPED out. I wake up after 10 hours of sleep, and feel like I need a nap 3 hours later. My eyes are constantly burning, and I just feel FATIGUED.
Best moment of the month:
Getting a sneak peak of our nugget at week 6. And seeing its little heart beating strong
Food Cravings:
M&Ms. After 4 servings in 2 days, I asked hubby to stop buying them for me. I also crave sprite. Or anything cold.
Food Aversions:
Nothing in particular. But, sometimes the thought of something makes me feel rather quesy

Belly button:
Normal, 'ole belly button!
What I miss:
Caffeine. Coca Cola Classic. Feeling "normal". Fitting into my bra. My pre-prego skin (helllo pre teen skin. Blah!)
What Im looking forward to:
Seeing my nugget tomorrow! And watching my husband fall in love the moment he sees the sonogram
Weekly Wisdom:
Giving all of my trust to God. Because I am so not in control of my life, mind, and body. But God is, and he knows what best for me.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

His First Fathers Day

The past week of my life has been a total whirlwind! A week of congratulations, tears, fears, excitement, anxiety, accomplishments, and my amazing husband showing me already what a fabulous father he is going to be.

So, for the very first time... I would like to wish my husband a very Happy Fathers Day. I can hardly believe that this time next year, Ryan will be spending Fathers day with his very own 4 month old son or daughter in his arms.

Ya, Im a total sap. Cryingggg!!!!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

We're Pregnant!

Yesterday was the most important day of my life, thus far.

I had a weird gut feeling, and asked Ryan to go buy a few prego tests. He looked at me like I was crazy, but obliged.

10 minutes later, he came through the front door with a box of EPT's. I grabbed the box, and headed into out 1/2 bath.

I sat there and held this little stick, completely not even nervous. It was the digital kind, so a little hour glass spun and spun... the box said to wait 3 minutes. Within 44 seconds, the word Pregnant popped on the screen.

I think I said something along the lines as :
"What the hell?!! HONEY!!!!"

Ryan ran over to the bathroom, grabbed the stick, and sat on the couch, staring.

And I stood there, with my jeans around the ankles, in complete shock.

We hugged, and cried, and screamed, and said Oh my God 30 times. Cried some more. FREAKED out!

Went to my parents house.
Told our families.
Told our friends.
Everyone is so thrilled.
So excited.
We are so blessed.

Every prayer I have ever prayed has been answered.
God is amazing.

I took all 3. I just had to.

I could barely sleep all night. I have so many thoughts going though my head. Im excited, scared, thrilled, anxious, nervous all at the same time.

The following are questions that I will post once a month, until my second trimester. Then, I will post once a week, when things start progressing rapidly, and everything is more exciting!

Total Weight Gain:
Zero. I think. I haven't weighed myself in like a week. Probably zero though. I cant imagine my little embryo and its parts weighing more then a quarter ounce.

Maternity Clothes:
No. No. and No. But, I am kinda thrilled that I lost a little weight before hand, so my pants are all a little on the baggy side.

Stretch Marks:
Obviously, no. Praying I can keep those under control.. they run in my family.

Exhausted. But, mainly because I couldn't sleep last night due to being so excited. Im not sure if the prego tiredness has crept in.

Best moment of the week:
Seeing the word PREGNANT on the pee stick. 3 times.

Not real movement of course. I feel little flutters every once in awhile.. but they feel alot like cramps, but not painful. Must be everything moving around and getting ready for baby =)

Food Cravings:
More like Lack there of. My appetite has been less then appealing. Started last week. I just kinda feel blah when I eat a full meal. Im going to enjoy this for now... as Im positive my appetite will come around, full swing.

Food Aversions:
Ya, that about sums it all up.

Belly button:
I have a super deep inney. So, I dont think my buttons gonna be poking out until the end of these long nine months!

What I miss:
Nothing. Its been 24 hours =)

What Im looking forward to:
Everything! Having a belly, seeing the Dr, meeting my little one on a sonogram, heart beats, boy or girl, nursery, meeting my little nugget!

Weekly Wisdom:
Let go, and let God.

Being PREGO!

I can not wipe this smile off my face. February can not get here soon enough!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Shrimp dip just doesnt sound fancy enough....

So... there is this recipe that I have in my depths of my amazing recipes..
And its one that I made up.
In my head.

And its also one that friends and family request.

And until now, I have never told a single soul my recipe for this tasty bit of gold.

Until now.....

Shrimp Dip

Sounds simple, doesn't it?

Start with some cooked, peeled, and cleaned shrimp. Remove the tails.
Those don't taste all that great.

Chop up the shrimp.

Chop up a medium onion,

And throw in a bowl... along with half of a chopped green pepper.

Throw in 8 wonderful ounces of plain cream cheese.

And one jiggly, fatty cup of MAYO. Yes, do it. Its good. Don't even dare to cut this part out. You would be playing with perfection, and those who mess with perfection...

Well, I don't know. They just don't get something so perfect.

Get me?

Add in a few dashes of Tabasco sauce. This is all about how spicy you like it. I add about a teaspoon.

Squeeze in some lemon.
Or... in my case, squirt.
About a tablespoon.

Whats the I hear?
Angels singing?
Ohh yes, I always hear Angels singing when I see a pile of cheese..

Gather 2 cups of amazing angelic cheese....
I like the Monterrey jack blend.

Mix it all up.
mmmmm.... drool.
I mean, Shrimp Dip.

Bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes.

OK, so... here is the deal.
People were already arriving at our house when I pulled the end result out of the oven.
And by the time I went back to see if it was cooled... half of it was devoured.

The picture of my end result isn't very pretty. And no amount of editing can make is look better.
But, if it proves anything, it should prove how amazing this stuff is.
Because my guests didn't mind the risk of burning their little taste buds off, to suck down mouthfuls of this shrimp dip.

So here is the end result.. in all of its unedited glory...

Serve with honey wheat crackers.

That's my favorite.

Although, I'm almost positive you could serve it on chunks of cardboard, and you will still be impressed.


Enjoy! :)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Year old wedding cake....

Being broke on our 1 year anniversary was not ideal. But, in all honestly.. I wouldn't have wanted to spend our day any different.
We woke up around noon, watched a baseball game, visited family, and spent the entire day being silly, giddy, and totally in love. It was perfect.

Since the first anniversary falls under the gift giving category of paper, we decided to write each other love letters.
Best gift I have ever received.

I cried. From beginning to end. Especially this part....
(While writing about our wedding day)

"I couldn't believe this gorgeous, amazing woman was walking up the aisle to spend the rest of her life with me"

I cried, because.. I was thinking the same thing.

"I cant believe this handsome, amazing man is standing at the end of this aisle to spend the rest of his life with me."
I know, I know.. you all are thinking, "OK OK!! Gag me!" but seriously, my husband is adorable. And he looks really cute when he wears baseball pants.

Here is the top tier of our wedding cake!!! In all its glory, wrapped in an insane amount of aluminum foil.

... And here we have it.....

In about 22 layers of cling wrap...
(Mom took this very serious!)

Tada! And there it is! Such a beauty!
And how adorable is that cake plate?
Adorable Anniversary gift idea, mom.

Our silver engraved Waterford cake servers.
Notice the handles are tarnished.
I purposely didn't polish them since our wedding day
.. I was going for the nostalgia feel...

We saved one bottle of champagne from our wedding day and even pulled out our Waterford wedding day champagne glasses.

All sorts of fancy like!

I get giddy just looking at this picture. I mean, seriously...
This picture= love.

Hubby slicing our cake...

Woo Hoo! Cake is sliced... and how does it taste?

Well.. this picture should answer this question.

We each took a bite. The cake part was FAB! but the frosting.. well, wasn't.

Hubby and I fed each other year old cake, toasted to a thousand more years of blissful marriage, and shared a
special PG-13 kiss.

And I went to bed with a huge smile on my face, knowing that the best year of my life had come to an end...
But, knowing that until God parts us...
every year from now until then, will be the best year of my life.

Because I was blessed with the best husband in the world.


Friday, May 14, 2010

as long as you both shall live, with this ring, I now pronounce you....

I do.
I thee wed.
Husband and wife.

The BIG day.

I went to numerous dress fittings. Lost weight, gained weight, accidently lost more weight a week before my wedding sending my alterations lady and myself into a panic to pull in the seam, and there I was.. barely able to breathe once my dress was on and it was time to walk down the aisle. How does one gain and lose and gain 5 pounds in days? Lets not forget to mention, that by the end of my wedding night.. I found myself yanking my dress up discretely (I hope) because that darn thing seemed to be growing on me!
I bought 3 pairs of wedding shoes. 3 pairs. Hated all of them, except the last pair.... or so I thought. Apparently, wearing an 8 pound beaded lace gown makes your feet hurt no matter what you’re wearing on your feet. After the ceremony, and hours of pictures... I put on platform flip flops. Yes, I did. I swear. The girl who owns 739238 pairs of heels, opted for flip flops for her wedding reception. I had dancing all night on my agenda, and my "perfect wedding shoes" weren’t gonna cut it...
I had 2 hair trials. Thought it was exactly what I wanted. Until 3 hours before my wedding. "It needs to be higher! volume! I need volume!" So... my lovely girls helped to give me what I wanted. I think. I wish I would have gotten extensions. Yes, I naturally have wonderful amounts of Latin hair. But, ya know... whatever. Extensions. That’s all Im gonna say.

I remained calm throughout the day. I was the one telling my mother, maid of honors, and bridesmaids to relax. Lets not even get started on how many time I had to tell my dad to breathe. I ate a small breakfast. My wonderful maid of honor, Lauren, even walked completely across a mall to get me a Venti Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks while I got my hair done. I had a few bites of a sandwich while it was makeup time. "Are you nervous!?" My response.... "No."

And I wasn’t. I was marrying my best friend. Who would be nervous about that? I had been practicing my vows since I saw "Father of the Bride" when I was 6... I grew up wearing dresses, and could successfully walk a mile in high heels by the time I was 12. Why would I be nervous? Its only my family and friends... Seemed like such a silly question.

My bridesmaids walked down the aisle one by one, and I smiled watching them from a window.
Then my Maid of Honors walked, arm in arm.. and it was time to pull myself away from the window and stand tall.
When my flower girl and ring bearer made their way down the aisle, I laughed.. My ring bearer took his job very serious. "Throw a petal! Come on! Throw the petals!" he screamed at my flower girl while he flung around the ring pillow my mother spent weeks hand sewing and beading with crystals.

Daddy looked at me and winked.

Piece of cake.

And then the music changed.
It went from a sweet symphony to the traditional "Dun dun dun dunnnnn....."

A few weeks before, while picking our ceremony music... Ryan declared he wanted "Here comes to the bride" to not sound wimpy. He wanted it to be full of deep bass.. as if announcing the royal family...

Bad idea.

My stomach flipped. And then it flopped.. and then.... I felt like I was going to be sick in the sticky Florida May heat. "Ryan is your best friend. He is your lover. He is your soul mate. He is the father of your future children. He loves you even though you’re insane! He is the reason you’re so dang happy all the time!"

And then came the tears.
 And none of this was nerves.
All of this was pure shock.

I, Angela, was marrying the one man that makes so head over heels happy.
Every dream was coming true at that exact moment.
I had found my God given partner, and I was about to commit my entire life to him.
And silly me.
 Before I met Ryan, I never thought I would ever be lucky enough to get married.
I had just turned 22 when I met him. Pathetic, huh?

Here I am... 1 year and and 9 months after the day I had first laid eyes on him.... about to say "I do", to make a deal with God and continue to love this man forever.

I was completely overwhelmed with emotions.

And our pictures?
Shows every insane emotion that came flooding out.

And NOT in the nicest of ways......

"Ok, this is easy.. There he is. MY GROOM. Look how handsome the boys look! And my honey! I havent seen him in like 20 hours. I miss him so much."

"ok, there goes the 2 girls that know more about me then I know about me. Wait, Jessies dress is shorter then Laurens. How the heck did that happen? No biggie..."

"Arent they so freakin cute?"

"My poor mom. Spent days on that dang pillow, and junior is tossing it around like a rag... funny"

"Dun dun dun..... dunnnnn ohhhhhhh crap"
"Um.. whats my name? Where am I? What planet am I on???"

"Look at this handsome man. God, he is so amazing. And so handsome. I hope he remembered to give Joe our weddings bands. Look how dang cute he looks! Those dreamy blue eyes..."

"Woooo Hoooo! This is EASY! Keep your eyes on the prize, Angela... "

"How long is this aisle? I hope it doesnt rain. Mmmmm... my man looks yummy!"

"Crap, this is the moment they sing about in county songs. Daddy is giving me away. Crap. Swallow that  lump in your throat!!! Get it together!!!"

"Swallow that lump, I say!!!"

"Ok, its me... and him... and preacher man... and 150 people... and God. No prob... Wait. Time for vows? I have to speak? Out loud? "

"Dang it. Stick a fork in me, Im done. There is no going back on these water works..."

"In sickness and in health (sniff, slurp, sniff) til death do us part"

"Ok, that wasnt so bad... Crap, its his turn. This may be worse then my turn. Its a good thing his grandmother hand beaded this hankie Im wiping my snot all over"

"losing it here.... losing it..... He said it. He said I do. The moment I have dreamt of all my life. Sweetest words Ive ever heard!"

"Rings, rings... my rings so pretty."

*Disclaimer- I will not post a picture of our first kiss as husband and wife. It was horrible. I decided it was okay to throw my chubby little arms around my husbands neck, and I look like a lumber jack. True story.

"Husband and Wife? Husband and Wife? Oh my holy JESUS! Husband and wife!"

Marrying Ryan was the most soul calming thing I have ever done. God made it clear that I was marrying my soul mate. There are not words to describe the amount of love for each other that floated from our lips as we said our vows. I think our faces paint the entire picture.

I do.
Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow.
Forever and a day.