Friday, December 31, 2010

2010... another year of blessings!

Ever since I met my husband in 2007... every year has been "the best year ever!".... 
I met my husband in 2007 and immediately fell head over heels in love with each other... best year ever.
In 2008, My husband and I moved into our first apartment together, and got engaged... best year ever.
In 2009, We planned our wedding, got married, and went on an awesome honeymoon.... best year ever.
In 2010, I peed on a little stick that flashed the word "pregnant", and we have spent all year getting our lives in order for this little miracle... best year ever.
I cant speak for 2011, because it doesn't start until tomorrow... but, in only 7 weeks (or less), our lives will forever change when we finally meet our son. Surely, 2011 will truly be "The best year ever!".

Besides getting pregnant in 2010... this year has been a year of growing... Some of this growth has hurt, really bad. But, as I always say... everything happens for a reason.

As a wife, I have grown to be more patient. We have gotten over the "first year hurdles".. and I have strived to be there in every single way possible for  my husband. I have been his biggest cheerleader and encourager. This has been a tough year for Ryan... We went from 2 healthy incomes, and after months of toying with the idea, went down to only 1. Months later, we find out I'm pregnant, and after the joy and excitement.. came the money woes. But, he handled it amazing... when he wasn't in the office, he was working a side job. He used his vacation time to work endless hours in Kentucky away from his home, his wife, his family.... Proving to be the ultimate provider. I am proud to say, that thanks to my amazing husband, we not only made ends meet this year... but we are virtually DEBT FREE. Something that is almost unheard of these days. The amount of love and pride I have for Ryan can not be measured. I still find myself in awe that God thought I was worthy of such an amazing man!

In 2010, my spirit has been questioned. My motives have been questioned. My intentions have been questioned. My honestly has been questioned. All of this questioning, took a toll on me personally. I found myself upset, and frustrated because I was being ridiculed by people who I thought were my family and friends. Lies upon lies were being said from the mouths of people who I, at one time, trusted. I told these people secrets, I cried on their shoulders, I allowed them to be an important part of my life. For what? For a mistake to be made into a lie, and another lie, and another lie.. and the talking became too much, and as it all came back to me... it was nothing more then a twisted web of lies.. and people believing every ounce of everything accept for anything I had to say... or not having enough sense to truly take a step back and see the whole picture. Friendships have been ruined. Trust is gone, and can not be earned back. My husband and I sat around thinking long and hard about why this was happening to us. We are both people who 100% of the time, put others before ourselves.. and here we are, bewildered. It took a little bit of time to pick myself up, dust myself off, and clearly see the whole picture. Ryan and I's spirit is still healing, but God has made his intentions clear.  Our life needed "weeding". We needed the negative and fake removed from our life, so we can truly enjoy the blessings we have before us. We can focus on our friends and family who have never questioned our intentions, who have always been a phone call away, and who have been with us through this "weeding" process. Its been painful, excruciating at times... but we have made it! And we can honestly look back, and know that we have always remained honest and truthful to ourselves and others. We have always given more then we have received. And we are now thankful that this "weeding" process is over and our lives are filled with individuals that we KNOW we can turn to and count on at the end of the day. I am so thankful for this. God has a funny way of doing things sometimes, but in the end.. it all makes sense. And I am so grateful to be able to start 2011 with a clear mind, full heart, and REAL friends and family.

2011 WILL be "the best year ever"! How could it not be? My life is filled with countless blessings, my belly is filled with a healthy baby boy who is almost ready to fill my arms, and he has already filled my heart. I'm married to the most amazing man on earth, My family is unbelievable, and I have TRUE friends. What more could anyone ever want?

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Christmas.

This Christmas...
I couldn't think of anything I wanted.

Not one. Seriously.

It seemed ridiculous to "want" anything. No matter who asked (mom, brother, in laws, my husband x3802389 times)... I had the same answer..."I dunno".

Its hard to "want" anything, when you "have" everything.

I have a healthy little boy in my belly who is growing  by leaps and bounds everyday, I have a husband who I adore and love more then life itself, I have brothers who've always got my back, My parents who are the absolute most amazing people I know, fabulous in laws by the handfuls, and girlfriends who I can count on no matter what...

It seemed silly to "want" anything else, when clearly, my life has been blessed beyond any sort of measure.

So, What did I ask for?

 Maternity Yoga Pants.
Its the only thing I could come up with.

And because of that, I am the happiest girl on the planet.

Merry Christmas. May you get everything you "want", and have everything you "need"....

Love,
Angela

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Pee.

Ya know how every time you see a pregnant girl on TV or in a movie, shes always running to the bathroom? Shes either throwing up or peeing? I'm one of those skeptics that saw this, and seriously thought that that was none other then another dramatization on the big screen....

WRONG.

I was lucky enough not to face the whole morning sickness thing.. But my bladder... has turned against me. Why am I sharing this? Because every woman who has been pregnant can relate with me, and any woman who hasn't been pregnant yet, but will one day be pregnant.... should know.

Ive always been a public restroom snob. Meaning, I just don't use them. Its gross. Back in my non pregnant, bar hopping days... I was able to go out all night and MAYBE use a public restroom once. MAYBE. And here I am.... 8 months pregnant... and public restrooms are my friend. I have scouted out the best and the worst. I know which restrooms are sometimes out of paper towels or toilet paper.. and I have my favorite stalls. Am I pregnant or 97 years old? I cant seem to tell the difference right now....

Its not only in the movies... its real. My daily routine? Wake up, Pee, Brush teeth, wash face, eat a bowl of cereal, pee, get dressed, struggle to tie shoes, pee, leave house, arrive at destination, pee, pay for things at store, pee, drive to next destination... pee. I cant tell you how many times my husband and I have been running on time (not many..) , and as we're walking out the door... I look at him and say "I have to pee". I dread saying that. At first he would look at me, and say something like "Come on babe! Seriously? You cant hold it? We're walking out the door!"...  but he knows better now. "ok, hurry!" Such pressure!

I haven't slept through the night in 6 months. At the beginning, I was "irritated" by having to wake up once during the night... I would love to go back to one of those days... Pee before bed.. then its 12:30am, 3am, 530am, 7am and then its another mad dash when I decide to roll out of bed for good around 9.

I talked to my doctor about this. I swore something was wrong with me.. but no. Doctor asked, "Does it burn?" I answered.. "What? No...." Doctor responded.." Ok, then youre fine. Just pregnant". Nice.

I don't even want to go into what happens when I laugh really hard or sneeze.... That just more information then you need to know. Or maybe you already know.. and if you do, I can promise you are totally sympathizing with me...

On that note, that's all I have for today. Its a good thing this sweet baby boy is worth it =)

I have to pee....

Monday, December 6, 2010

29 weeks

I told myself I would do this every 4 weeks... I also told myself I would write down every single thing that I did and experianced through my pregnancy.. and I didnt. I know, I know... I will totally regret this one day. But, for now... Ill wait for that day, and not worry about that day, today.

Last time I did one of these, I was 16 weeks pregnant. That feels like another life time ago... I am now 29 weeks, and I feel like Im a pro at being pregnant by now. 11 weeks or less until my beautiful baby boy is in my life... I cant wait!




Total Weight Gain:

Ugh. 17.
Maternity Clothes:

Ive ever grown out of some of those already!

Stretch Marks:

Yes, yes yes. I think I hate this question.


Sleep:

Tiredness is back. Can barely sleep more then 2 hours at a time at night.... always waking super early. and desperate for a nap by 4pm.


Best moment of the month:

My baby shower, and seeing baby boy during a 3D sonogram =)

Movement:

Always!

Food Cravings:

None. Just food in general.
Food Aversions:

None.

Belly button:

Its flat. LIke really flat. But not sticking out....
What I miss:
Nothing
What Im looking forward to:
Having this baby!
Weekly Wisdom:
Let others do stuff for me. Because my back hates me.
Milestones:
Everything. Being well into my 3rd trimester. Knowing that if little one was born today, he would be healthy.