Time is a funny thing.
One minute, time is racing and you find yourself stressing over every passing second that drifts by, and the next... youre sitting, waiting, inhaling deeply as you wait for another minute to pass.
Today is one of the "wait" days. The clock is going backwards. No really. Backwards
So, as I wait, my mind slips back to those times when time was racing. Like a year ago. A year ago from this very moment, I was 2 months, 7 days, and 1 hour away from marrying Ryan. My life was consumed with dress fittings, wedding showers, thank you note writing, invitation fonts, perfect bow tying, perfect skin regimen, working, and living a normal life all at the same time. Or..well, trying to. Wedding planning. You would think that after planning my amazing, gorgeous wedding in 6 months, I would never in a million years want anything to do with a wedding ever again. But, nope... I'm obsessed. Once wedding planning touched my soul, it was here to stay. I am itching for a friend to get engaged and set a date. So I can then obsess over their wedding ideas, colors, schemes, and God only know what else I will find myself consumed with. I think wedding bells are in my blood.
I remember walking down the aisle very vividly. The wind was blowing just a little bit, and daddy and I had our arms interlocked.. I smiled watching my bridesmaids walk down the aisle from afar, and then.. it was my turn. The music changed, and my stomach did a few flips. All of a sudden, I was walking down a white aisle with every person who has ever meant anything to me watching my every move. And at the end of that aisle? My fiancé. Never in all my life, have I ever seen something or someone so amazingly beautiful. He stood there, full of confidence and a perfect serious smile. This was it. This was the moment I had been dreaming, and planning, and creating in my head since I knew what a wedding was. For all those times I decided to be a cynical teenager hurt by stupid boys, and vowed I would never get married. For all the times I thought that maybe being a married woman wasn't for me. This was it. I was about to turn my whole life over, and become one with this Man. This Man who stole my heart without asking for my permission. I never had the chance to say no. What started as a text message became this. A MARRIAGE. And life as I knew it would never be the same. And you know what? I'm okay with that. Because it was the best decision I have ever made. Umm.. well, He made. He swooped in and saved me from myself. He changed every single aspect of my life. For the better.
I don't know how it happened. I don't know if its the way his face crinkles up and his eyes get bigger when he thinks something is really funny, or how mad he gets when I'm right and he's not. Or, maybe it was the way my heart would feel funny when he looked at me, or how I felt completely safe when I'm wrapped in his arms.
I do know one thing.
I am the happiest I have ever been in all my life, thanks to the man I married....