PUPPPs

I will never again say the word PUPPY the same. My eyes wont light up when I think of cute cuddly puppies, with their soft fur, and floppy ears. In fact, when I hear the word PUP for the rest of my life.. I will shudder.

PUPPP. Pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy. Sounds fancy doesn't it?

Last Wednesday, while I was busy Losing it, little did I know, my body was also preparing to turn against me.What started out as your normal, every day stretch marks, turned into these nasty, purple, swollen lines that ITCHED. Ohhh, the joys of a growing belly, I thought.... Boy, how wrong was I?

Here we are, Tuesday; January 18th, 2011 and I looked like I got into a fight with killer bees and they definitely won. From my shoulders, down each arm to my hands... my belly, my back, my sides, my hips, my inner and upper thighs, my knees, behind my knees, down my calves, and all the way down my ankles and to my toes.... hundreds of tiny, hard, raised bumps no larger then the tip of a crayon... Typically, they start out the same color as my skin... until something, ANYTHING, touches it... and that's where the fun begins. I dont care what it is... clothing, blowing wind, bed sheets, my skin touching SKIN... I instantly get this intense itching sensation that sends me into a complete panicked frenzy, where Im clawing myself. And the bad part? The REALLY bad part? While Im scratching into my poor skin, it feels so GOOD. I get relief... its calming. But the moment I stop the itching, when my skin starts to become red, swollen, and raw.. It starts itching even more. By this time, my skin is so over it, that scratching just HURTS. The area becomes swollen and aches, all the while STILL ITCHING and begging me to claw myself once again.

Its the absolute most horrific experience I have ever had. After sleeping for maybe 2 hours last night, I just KNEW that my OBGYN was going to give me something to help with my madness today. Little did I know, all I was going to get was a sympathetic smile and a "Im sorry, there is nothing we can do. It isnt going to go away until you give birth..." Ummm.. what? You mean to tell me that youre sending me home with a swift kick in the behind (that will soon be itching!) with NOTHING?... not even a CREAM to slather on?  Well, thank you, Mrs. Im-sorry-but-I-want-you-to-suffer!

So, here I sit. In my underwear and a tshirt.... blogging about my misery. On a bed with no covers. Slathered on Gold Bond Medicated Lotion. And every single time I get even a HINT that I may start to itch (About every 2 1/2 minutes), I pump out more of that Gold Bond and put it where it hurts. And I wince at the idea that I might have another 5 weeks to go..

Can you believe that there is NO known cause for this? There is NO cure? And barely any research has been done on why woman get this, or how it can be prevented or taken care of? What did woman do before Gold Bond? Im assuming they just jumped off a bridge. Seriously.

My ever so "sympathetic" doctor, told me that many woman misdiagnose themselves with PUPPP. And that she has seen very few cases of the real PUPPP disease. She said it is very unlikely that I know anyone who has actually had this, being that 1 out of every 260 woman get it.... Woah. I think my chances of winning the lotto may have been higher then that. But, thats just my luck. If its weird, and almost unheard of, you can count me in as the winner of that prize! Im so lucky. Arent I? Im a sucker for the word unique and different. This wasnt quite the unique or different route I was going for....

My goal is to come up with a combo of "remedies"... that work. I will blog about it when I figure it out, and if it helps just one person, I will have done my job. I wouldnt wish this on anyone...  not even my bus driver in 7th grade who I dreaded every day of my age 12 career..

Cheers to no itching, and a day where I can sleep without clawing my skin.

Im going to go roll around in a fire ant pile. Maybe it will take my mind off of PUPPPs.