5 Months Old = OMG

Dear Brayden,

I dont know where to begin. I feel like a broken record, saying the same stupid line every single month. "Where the heck has time gone?" But its true. Time is going by with a wink of an eye, and I wish for 10 minutes, I could just make it stop. I would hold you in my arms, and stare into your beautiful face, and watch you laugh. Watch you smile. Watch you blink. And watch you be you... without worrying that your time as my infant is slipping by so fast.

I wish I could hold you in my arms forever, but you want none of that. You have an entire world to explore. You have the entire world to look at, and learn about, and discover. The world really is at your finger tips, and you want EVERYTHING at your fingertips. You spend your entire life, in complete and utter awe. You are fascinated with everything. Your hands and your feet, your daddy's scruffy facial hair, the writing on my shirt. Everything is nothing short of amazing to you.

You are loving your food these days! We successfully fed you every stage 1 food, and you loved each and every one without even the slightest sign of an allergy. Green beans were your favorite, with squash and sweet potato right behind. You open your mouth super wide, and wait wait wait for the next spoonful of yumminess. Your eyes open up super wide, and you swallow with a smile. Its the cutest darn thing ever.

You are sleeping an amazing 13 hours a night. It is unbelievable, and daddy and I feel so blessed!

You are wearing 6 month clothes all the time now, and size 2 diapers.

Mama tried sooo hard to give you a pacifier, but you wanted nothing to do with it, and would gag every time I put it in your mouth. And, guess what you started doing a week ago? Sucking your thumb! I just cant believe it! And although, its not what I wanted... I have to admit, it beyond adorable.

Daddy and I bought you a Jumper this month! You LOVE it! You jump and jump until you are wiped out! You look all the flashing lights and little toys.... and you giggle the entire time!

You can sit up by yourself for about 10 seconds before falling over. Im sure we only have a week or so until you are much much better at that!

If we stand you up on the couch, you can also hold yourself up for a little while! You love being on your feet!

Thank you for continuing to make our life so amazing. I love you, my sweet baby boy with all of my heart. You are the greatest part of my entire life, and I simply do not remember what life was like before you, and I would never want to. You have completed me in ways I can not even describe. You are my world. I love you, my munchkin.

Love,
Mama

Holy freakin 4 months!

Brayden Ryan... You are FOUR months old! I know, I know..... I say this every month, but the insanity of this is just unbelievable! You are growing and shocking the crap out of mommy and daddy everyday, because you are constantly changing and learning... and your smarts are just astounding.

This month, You learned how to roll.. front to back, and back to front.. so youre a little rolling machine! Rolling over has brought so  much joy to you.  You have discovered the floor of your playmat, and you just adore all the bright colors.

You are so determined to sit up. You grunt, and stretch, and fidget until whoever is holding you, finally sits you in an upright position. We try to remind you that youre only 4 months old, but you are far ahead of your times.

Holding up your head is no longer an issue ever. Your legs are the strongest. Sometimes, you get so excited, and kick so hard that it seriously hurts sometimes.

We have started you on Solids, and you LOVE your food! Bananas are your ABSOLUTE favorite so far, you thought apples were pretty good, but we're not sure if you are sold on the Peas yet. You act like you love them, and then we usually clean you up while youre screaming like a maniac. Not really sure why it is about your love/hate relationship with these peas... but good news is, we're almost done with the Peas days and we will be ready for pears in no time!

You weigh over 14 lbs, and are about 23 inches long putting you in the 50th percentile for weight and height. You are still wearing 3 month clothes, but are quickly growing out of most of them, so we have begun the transition into all of your 6 months clothes! You are in size 2 diapers.

You are a drooling mess. We average 4 bibs a day, and you have been giving our washing machine a run for its money. I used to LOVE baby clothes, until I had to wash and fold them all week long.

You are a talking machine. You have so much to say, and I absolutely LOVE hearing every detail! You coo, and goo, and gaga all day long, and when you get really excited you SCREECH!

You love smiling and laughing, and when you laugh really hard, you almost always bury your face in your hands.. and its got to be the cutest thing I have ever seen.

You adore reading books, and I could not be more happy! Mommy reads to you at least twice a day... Your favorite book is "My mommy and Me" , and "Guess who? ELMO!" After we exhaust ourselves with reading, we usually cuddle up together for a quick nap on mommy and daddys bed =)

You crack daddy and I up every single day. You have such a cute little personality, and we can not get over how much we love and adore you. We are so lucky to be your parents.

Love,
Mommy

My 3 month old BIG boy!

BRAYDEN!!!!

You are THREE MONTHS OLD! Where the heck has time gone, and why do I feel like I say that at LEAST every day!?

Daddy weighed you the other day, and we think youre somewhere around 14 pounds! You dont have a drs apt, and our scale stinks, so we're not positive... but either way, you are growing like crazy!

You cant quite roll over yet, but you are trying so hard... your head is a little bit heavy. You have a BIG obsession with trying to sit up. Daddy and I think its so funny, and you are so good at it.. But because of your heavy head, you usually end up falling over, but that doesnt stop you from trying over and over again until you are so tired and ready for a nap.

You love talking to your Giraffe on your playmate. You love when mommy reads you books, and makes funny voices for the characters. And you LOVE Elmo! We bought you a tiny stuffed Elmo last weekend, and you have enjoyed slobbering all over his arms and eyeballs.

You have recently realized that when you hit your toys, they move, and you are entertained for hours because of this recent discovery.

Bathtime is still your favorite time of the day. Mommy enjoy singing to you while daddy bathes you. So far, your favorite song is the ABC's, and the 50 nifty United States.

Youre wearing 3 month clothes, and quickly outgrowing most of them, but 6 months clothes are still a bit big. Your 3 months sleepers are so snug, you can barely straighten your legs, so mommy will be going out and buying you some 6 month sleepers this weekend.

Your first Easter was a huge success! You got so many things from so many people that love you!

The Easter bunny totally did not phase you. You though the green floor was way more amusing!

You def know your name now, and you quickly turn your head to see who is saying it. Your eyelashes are so incredibly long! Everyone comments on how long your fingers and feet are. We are allmost positive that you have mamas big brown eyes, but you are unmistakably your fathers son.

When daddy comes home from work, you spend a good half hour staring at him in amazement. You REALLY miss him when hes at work!

You are now sleeping through the night completely, and into the early afternoon! You LOVE sleeping! You go to bed around 1030pm, you sleep til about 7am, and then you go back to bed after a bottle until about noon.

You are such an easy baby. Probably the happiest baby I have ever seen. You have a smile and a giggle for everyone, and you melt everyones heart just like you melt mine.

I love our little family, baby boy. Thank you for being so amazing!

Love,

Mama

Holy 2 months old!

Brayden,

You are growing wayyyy too fast, mister! Mama can barely keep the tears out of her eyes when she thinks of how very fast you have changed already, and its just a reminder of how fast you would continue to grow. It breaks my heart, because although I love seeing you grow strong, and learn new thing everyday.... I get sad. Because one day, your entire hand wont be able to wrap around my finger anymore. You wont need me to feed you. Or bathe you. Or change your diaper. You wont need me to help you fall asleep. I know this will not be for awhile, but the past 2 months of my life as your mommy have been the fastest 2 months of my life, and it scares the living crap out of me. I feel like Ill wake up tomorrow, and you will be 13 with a bad haircut....

You have learned so much this month! Our first milestone was transitioning from being in the bassinet next to mamas bed, and into your big boy crib. You did GREAT! You slept better there then you did next to mama and daddy... Lets blame daddys snoring on that one =). Around 5 weeks, mama flew out of bed because it was 4am, and it had been 5 whole hours since I had heard from you! I was so sure something was not okay... but there you were, sleeping like an angel. 5 whole hours felt like a dream come true... and it only got better. Before we knew it, you were going to bed at 11pm, waking up for a bottle at 5, and sleeping again until 10am! We are so blessed to have a baby who likes his sleep!

You gave mama and daddy the greatest gift of our lives this month. Smiles. And lots of them. Which each smile, you melt our hearts! Mama swallows back tears daily, because she just cant believe how much love her heart holds for you! You are our entire world. You smile most when you have one on one time with us. Sometimes its hard to imagine that you are able to smile so big, but every time you do, it makes everything else in our world go away, and you are the only thing that fills our thoughts.

You love your baths. You kick your little legs and it looks like youre dancing. Bath time now takes longer then before, because half the time Im laughing so hard at your cuteness, I have to remember to catch my breath! You take my breath away time and time again, my lovey.

I cant tell if you favor mama or daddy, because it seems that you love us both equally. You spend lots of time staring at us, and smiling, and cooing. You love to coo. And "talk" to us. I enjoy hearing everything you have to say. I cant wait for real words to come out one day!

This month, you spent 2 full days away from mama. Once because I went to work, and once because daddy and I went to a wedding. Words can not even express how much I missed you! You are the only thing I think and talk about. Its hard to concentrate on much else. Although mama and daddy enjoyed a night to ourselves to hangout with our friends, we missed you tons. You stayed at Nana and Abuelos house and you had a blast!

You LOVE kicking your legs. Thats how we know when youre REALLY happy! You are also able to "Stand" up on mamas legs... you are so strong!

You seem to favor your left side more then your right, which THRILLS your daddy. Left handed pitchers are paid more and much desired in baseball. =)

You weigh 11 lbs 14 oz, and youre 22 1/2 inches long putting you in the 50th percentile! You are 100% healthy, and 110% beautiful.

Brayden... daddy and I love you more then ANYTHING in this world. You are the only thing that matters. We love that you are our son, and will spend the rest of our lives letting you know that.

Love,
Mama.

Brayden is one month old!

Dear Brayden,

Boy oh BOY! You are one month old. Mama simply cannot wrap her head around the idea that her sweet precious newborn is headed straight into infancy faster than she ever wanted to imagine.

In fact, it was just last night that daddy and I noticed that while wearing your newborn sleepers, you are barely able to straighten your legs… you’re just way to long now! You are barely wearing your newborn diapers, and all of your adorable newborn outfits are quickly becoming extremely snug… some of them are impossible to pull over your round little head without squishing your beautiful face. Mama gets all sorts of emotional at the thought of graduating you into 3 month clothes and size 1 Huggies. You weighed 6lbs, 15oz when you were born, and dropped down to 6lbs 10 ounces…. NOW, you are 9lbs 4 oz.!

You are all boy. Rough, tough, and strong. You love to eat, and mama is already getting nervous for what her grocery bill will be when you’re in high school. During meal times, when it’s time for you to be burped, you get yourself into such a frenzy, that you shake your head back and forth and flail your little arms, and push your legs against mamas legs, while you smack your lips and lunge towards your bottle. We try to remind you that you’re not starving and that there is more coming as soon as you give us a big burp, but it doesn’t matter. You want your milk! Daddy and I get a big kick out of this…. And we are sorry that we are laughing at your expense.. but you’re just so funny!

You hold your head up like a champ, and have been doing so since you were born actually…. But just recently, you have really mastered this! You spend most of your day staring into your mama’s face, and it melts her heart completely. I just love staring into your big beautiful blue eyes! When you’re not loving on mama or daddy, your staring at your best friend… the ceiling fan. No amount of interactive toys, or your play mat that plays music and flashes colors can compare to that ceiling fan!

You have recently found your tongue, and you spend lots of time sticking it in and out in amazement. When you’re not putting your hands into your mouth, you are desperately trying to get mama or daddy’s fingers in there! Your pacifier is your life line.

You’re still sleeping in mama and daddy’s room… and mama is so sad at the thought of moving you into your own crib. I wimped out on the idea this weekend, so we’re hoping next weekend will be a good time to start!

You have been out to eat with us several times, you have visited all of your grandparents, Publix and Target twice. Mama is still nervous to take you out of the house on her own… She is convinced that she cannot function without Daddy anymore. Our favorite time of the day is when Daddy comes home from work, and on Saturday and Sunday mornings… when Daddy brings you into our bed so that we can snuggle together as a family.

Last week, Tio Dennis and Leigh Leigh shared some big news with us on Abuelos birthday! You are going to have TWIN cousins, just 6 months older then you!  I cannot wait to watch you grow up with your cousins, as they become your very best friends! What a blessed family we are!

In the first month of your life, you have made us a family and have showed daddy and I what real love is. Looking at your little face brings so much joy into our lives, and we don’t remember what life was like before you. You have completed us.

We love you sweet baby boy. You are our everything.

Love,

Mama

2 weeks old.

Dear Brayden,

Today you are 2 weeks old. In 2 weeks, you have completely rocked your mama and daddy's world. We are happiest when we are staring at your little face, and are absolutely amazed by all the things you already do. You surprise us everyday with how strong you are, from your scary arrival all the way to when you hold your head up during tummy time. You are beautiful! So beautiful, that you take our breath away daily. And we're not the only ones who feel that way! Many people have said that you are the most beautiful baby they have ever seen! You have brought so much joy to so many peoples lives. You are our breath of fresh air. I spend half of my day counting your fingers, and toes and feeling so proud that I grew such a beautiful, strong baby boy inside of my tummy.
You absolute HATE having your diaper changed, and taking bathes. You are so modest! You can pick your mamas voice out of a crowd, and you have earned the title of your daddy's bestfriend.
We love you so much. We enjoy mornings with you. Taking you out of your cradle, and into our bed so you can snuggle with daddy and I. I love that you have made US a family. We are now a family of 3. And we love everything about that.
Thank you for changing our entire life for the better, sweet boy. Daddy and I are looking forward to watching you grow and learn, and seeing you achieve all of your milestones.

We love you,
Mama

My Labor Story.

February 4th, 2011. Its 8am, Ive been up all night. Hubby is in the bathroom, running a little late for work. I have finally just fallen back to sleep, and I am awoken by a VERY loud POP noise. I stir a little, and try to fall back to sleep... Until I feel like I am about to pee myself right then and there.. So, I lunge out of bed, and thats when I realize... My water is broken. I yell for Ryan, he runs into the bedroom... He calls our OBGYN.. I call my mom... He cleans up my mess and runs around the house getting together a few things, and I jump in the shower....
3 minutes into  my shower, I have my first contraction. It was long and painful. Time to hurry up this shower and get a move on. I get out, and I have another one. I sit on top of the toilet seat, trying to catch my breath. I didn't know these were supposed to come so fast, and so hard, so soon.... I start getting dressed. I get another contraction, hurts so bad I cant bend over to pull up my pants. I yell for Ryan again (poor guy... as if his nerves weren't already shot), and he helps me to pull up my pants and stand up.
We head to the car. Another contraction. I get in the car. Another contraction. Holy crap. Im going to deliver this baby soon! Driving to the hospital... in Tampa rush hour traffic. Not so fun. Contraction after contraction. We finally get there... Ryan valets, and we rush inside. Sign in. Im taken back to Triage. My mom gets there shortly after. My contractions are long, hard, and coming fast. Ryan pleads with the nurse to hurry. She checks my cervix. Im 4cm dilated. THATS it!? But Im having contractions every other minute! And they are lasting 30-40 seconds long!
Im rushed to labor and delivery. Im hooked up to all kinds of machines, and due to the intensity and quickness of the contractions, but slow progression, I ask for an Epidural. It wasn't fun but it was worth it. Completely.
The next 7 hours are easy. I cant feel a thing. I sometimes shake when I have a contraction, but I only know Im having one because a machine is telling me so. Braydens heart beat sounds good and strong. I am feeling great. Lets get this show on the road!
4 hours later... Im only 5cm dilated, with intense contractions every other minute.
9 1/2 hours into labor, and they cant find Braydens heart beat. When they find it again, its at 50. Down from 150. The nurses flip me on my side, and give me oxygen. My visitors are told to leave the room. My mom and Ryan stand to the side, looking so afraid. I ask whats wrong, and they keep telling me to breathe as they unhook me from everything, and begin upping my epidural.
Before I know it, Im hearing the my Doctor run in, as the nurses start running and wheeling me down the hall, yelling at Ryan and my mom to stay where they are.
Whats going on? Why cant they come? Whats happening? I close my eyes and start to pray.
Im taken into the Operating Room. Im picked up and put on a steel table, where my doctor slices open my stomach. They didn't even have time to turn on the over head lights, so I am able to see the reflection in the glass. While she is cutting me open, my arms are being tied down. I keep asking for my husband.. where is he? Why am I alone?
Within seconds my baby boy is being pulled from my stomach. Hes purple. God, I wish they had turned on those overhead lights so I couldnt watch what was happening.
Brayden doesn't cry. He wasnt moving. I scream "Why isnt he CRYING!?" No one answers. The entire delivery room is in silence, and a nurse is stroking my hair. My OBGYN tells me "They are doing everything they can honey."
Doing everything they can? But whats wrong? Whats wrong with my baby? Where is my husband? Why isn't Brayden crying?
I then hear nurses and doctors say the word "Resuscitation". My heart goes into my throat... and I begin to pray out loud as tears stream down my cheeks and puddle into my ears. "Lord, please.... Take me. Don't take him. He was so strong. Why is this happening. Please take me and not him. I will never ask for another thing for the rest of my life. I cant go home without him. You cant do this to my husband. He needs this little boy. Please Lord. Please."
And then I hear it. A faint tiny whimper. I yell "Is that him crying?" The nurse stroking my hair still, replies with a smile "Well, thats not a nurse crying"... I cry more. My baby boy is crying. Apgar score is a 1. I continue to pray, and cry. A doctor says "Hey mom, look at your baby boy"... I look over, and see his tiny beautiful perfect face as the doctor runs past me with him in his arms. The Operating room door slams, and my baby is taken away.
I am being stitched up. I am still crying, praying, and asking as many questions as possible. No one is answering me. Ryan comes in, and sits by head. He kisses me with tears running down his face, telling me he loves me, and that hes sorry he couldnt be with me. They wouldnt allow him to. He says he got to see Brayden in passing in the hallway. We know nothing.
I am then taken to a recovery room. Ryan is with me, and my mom comes in. Shes crying. Ryan is crying. Im crying, and no one seems to know whats going on.
Finally a nurse calls the NICU and tells Ryan he can go there. 5 minutes later, I get a picture message on my cell phone that my mom was holding for me. Its a picture of the most beautiful baby I have ever seen in all my life, hooked up to a million machines, with a text from Ryan that says "Hes perfect".
2 doctors come in to talk to me. The cord wrapped itself around Braydens neck. The cord also became clamped somehow. We are lucky he is with us. Recent Apgar score is a 7, and getting better. He is alive. He is breathing.

As the night progressed, Brayden did a complete turn around. Wide awake, strong, breathing, moving, alert... just perfect.

My beautiful baby boy. The only thing in my life that matters anymore. The breath in my lungs. and the truest miracle Ill ever know. I will never be able to thank God enough for this blessing. For the rest of my life, everyday, everytime I look at my baby boys sweet face, I will say thank  you. It wasnt my baby boys time. He is with us, and he is as healthy and beautiful as ever.

Brayden Ryan Provenzano was  born on February 4th, 2011 at 5:30pm. He weighed 6 pounds, 15 ounces, and was 19.5 inches long. He is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on. He loves to eat, and is growing and changing every day. He loves staring at his daddys face, and knows mamas voice. He makes the greatest facial expressions, and absolutely HATES having his diaper changed. He is the biggest blessing and miracle his daddy and I will ever know.

My baby boy. Hours after his arrival.

Perfect gift from God.

My whole life.